COVID Meltdown & Lessons in Teamwork
Ok I’m having my first real COVID meltdown. I actually can’t do it. I can’t finish my big accounting task. I can’t find space to focus. My brain is not working.
For weeks, I’ve been able to adapt and pivot and execute.
But when I really need linear focus, I just can’t do it.
I sit here wondering what is wrong with me. And then I realize that back in the day, pre-COVID, I had six hours every day of complete silence all by myself.
I worked from home, just me.
Now there are hammers, the dog, saws, lawn mowers, kids, laughter. All wonderful things. My heart breaks to even suggest avoiding them. I love them all.
I absolutely love having everyone home. I love our projects. I love the laughter and togetherness of family, neighbors and community.
I’ve even accepted (and maybe even enjoy?) Zoom. At first I wondered why after 10 years of working from home everyone needed to see me on Zoom, but I’ve adjusted.
But I had no idea how much I need hours of quiet to tackle a tedious, intense task like adding, subtracting, filing, billing paying and writing checks. I am struggling so much to avoid distraction. Any noise takes my brain out of its (extremely abnormal to me) linear thinking space.
I had no idea how “not-good” I am at this. In “real-life”, I’m usually very good at it, even if I don’t enjoy it — but I was fooled. It was a life-hack. Somehow I had figured out how to create the right space to accomplish what needed to be done.
Probably (or definitely) in my future life, this is a task that must be handed over to the correct brains, the right team members. Obviously, I am much more skilled at high-chaos, problem-solving type tasks which have survived even a COVID environment.
I’m not really sure what to do. There’s nowhere to go during COVID.
My family will read this (as they do). I’m sorry to burden you, dearest family.
I will figure this out — or we will together. It will happen. Maybe I just needed to actually admit and realize and accept that I need help.
Originally published at http://www.jomafilms.com on May 29, 2020.